When we vent our frustrations with others who confirm our complaints, we stay in a negative mental state, and we miss the opportunity to see things from another angle. Here’s Jenni with more about changing your perspective.
Do you – like me – complain about the weather? About the way the receptionist just treated me on the phone? About people who don’t do things the way I think they should? All things I can’t control.
And when we complain, it feels good. When others confirm the rightness of our complaints. It sounds like this – “I am so tired of my boss being late for every meeting. Yeah, I know she’s so inconsiderate.”
When we vent our frustrations with others who confirm our complaints, we stay in a negative mental state, and we miss the opportunity to see things from another angle. Instead, try seeking out someone who can share another perspective, someone who can reframe the situation. Not only does reframing help us see the bigger picture. It enables us to see that perhaps things aren’t as bad as we thought, and that we have an element of control over the situation.
It sounds like this – “I am so tired of my boss being late for every meeting. I know it’s irritating. Have you considered that she’s under a lot of pressure and doing the best that she can? Perhaps there’s something that you can do to help her.”
Often, there are opportunities to change a negative situation if we can just zoom out and see it from another perspective. Getting that bigger picture enables us to see that we can do something to fix the situation.
So the next time you find yourself complaining, instead of seeking out others who confirm your complaints, try asking them – “Can you help me see this from another perspective?”
I’m Jenni Jepsen. This is your Leadership Nudge. Let us know how it goes.
